If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
