College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
