I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
