I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
