I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
