do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
