So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
