rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
