I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
