Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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