ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
