in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
