I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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