I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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