The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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