Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
