Just fell off a train. Bad.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
