Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
