I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
