new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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