don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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