I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
