I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
