She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
