Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
