Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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