She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize