So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
sarcasm needs its own font
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
