I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
