does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
