I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.