watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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