girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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