sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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