it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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