so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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