I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
