No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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