woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
