doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I accidentally had phone sex last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
