I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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