I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Im part way to drunk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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