WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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