It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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