My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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