giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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