:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
