I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
