i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This is the high leading the old right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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