I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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