I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
