I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
