A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize