does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
