Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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