She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You've changed since you got that strap on
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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