She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
