It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
