New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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