I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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