He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
