all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize