ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.