Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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