So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
