Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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