"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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