The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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