I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
